I’ve been a lot of things in my life, but being unhappy is the worst. Unhappiness can be the result of something as severe as the sudden loss of a loved one, or as simple as a missed deadline at the office. Unhappiness is, in short, an emotional reaction to a missed expectation. What you wanted to happen didn’t, or what you didn’t want to happen did.
If you are experiencing unhappiness, here are three keys to help you get happy again.
1. Give Yourself Permission to be Unhappy.
Unhappiness is something you experience, not something you become. When unhappiness comes on you, regardless of the cause, allow it to run it’s course. Acknowledge that you are unhappy, express your thoughts and feelings as to why you feel the way you do, even sulk in it a bit if it helps, but then let it go. Don’t always be quick to change what is; allow it to run it’s course. Remember, “this too shall pass.”
2. Unhappiness is Your Experience, Not Your Identity.
Whatever follows your “I am,” you are. Unhappiness, in it’s simplest form, is an emotional response to a missed expectation. It feels sometimes like it’s never going to end, but it will, and it does. Keep a healthy distance between what you are experiencing and who you truly are. During moments of unhappiness, remind yourself that this is not who you are; this is just what you are going through. Remember, this too shall pass. Change your perspective. Don’t take it personal. Unhappiness happens to everyone.
3. Let It Go
Remember, what you hold on to holds on to you. Unhappiness can develop into depression, and worse, a pathology, if you are not careful. What was designed to be a momentary experience to one of life’s many unexpected moments, can become a way of life. When unhappiness becomes a way of life, it can altar the course of your identity, and ultimately your destiny. You were not designed to be unhappy. Longterm unhappiness is a choice.
Give negative emotions a time frame. When you have allowed yourself ample opportunity to process the negative emotions, cut them off. Make a choice to be done feeling unhappy and start feeling happy again. Choosing is the easiest hardest thing you have to do in life. Remember, you can’t be happy and sad at the same time.
One Final Note: Ask For Help
Ask for help. We were never designed to carry the load of life all by ourselves. Yet, millions, probably more, live the majority of their lives in their private closets trying to deal with life’s deepest, darkest emotions. Don’t be afraid, or too proud to reach out for help. If the truth were known, the one you ask for help will probably be glad you did, because they were needing someone to talk to too.