Growing Up, Life, Life Lessons, Self Esteem, Self-Help

How Do People See You?

looking-through-eyeglasses-monkey

The Zoom-Zoom driving instructor showed up at my front door. He was there to pick up my teenage daughter for her first driver’s training session. I introduced myself, “Hi, my name is Jeff. I’m Kami’s father.” The kid responded, “Hi, Jeff, my name is,” whatever he said his name was.

I shot a quick glance at the car he pulled up in, and noticed another teenage girl in the back seat. “Who’s the girl?” I snorted. “She’s my last student. Kami is going to drive her home.” I clenched my teeth for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then grilled the guy for as long as I could about the training process before looking like some paranoid lunatic. Reluctantly, I let my first-born child drive off in a BMW with another teenage girl and a twenty-something-year-old strange guy who just called me “Jeff!” Have I lost my mind or what!

I drove to the store later that evening to get some milk, and I replayed the zoom-zoom incident in my head. “Hi, Jeff,” I could hear this kid talking to me in my head. “What did you call me?” I realized I was honked off because the kid should have called me Mr. Crume like any polite, well-mannered young person would address an adult. But then immediately I realized he responded to me in the manner in which I presented myself.

Are you presenting yourself in one light, but expecting to be seen in another?

Not presenting yourself in the light that you are truly in is arrogance. You think by presenting yourself “lower,” somehow someone will pick up on the fact that you really are deserving of a “higher honor” and will respond to you on that level. You come off arrogant when presenting yourself as less while thinking of yourself as more.

When you present yourself as less, and the person or situation doesn’t acknowledge you for “who you really are,” you get offended. Offense is the perfume of arrogance. Expecting to be recognized in the light you are truly in without introducing yourself in that light is the highest form of arrogance and self-righteousness. It’s also a sure sign of insecurity.

Expecting to be recognized in the light you are truly in without introducing yourself in that light is the highest form of arrogance and self-righteousness.

People will see you in the light you want them to see you in when, (1) you see yourself in that light, and (2) you begin presenting yourself to others in that same light. People can’t see you for who you want them to see you as; they can only see you as you present yourself to be.

The next three opportunities you have to introduce yourself, present yourself in light in which you truly are, and that you truly desire people to see you in, and see what happens. Get used to presenting yourself in the light that you want people to see you in, and they will start seeing you in that light.

2 thoughts on “How Do People See You?”

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