To say one is “coming home” infers they have been “away” from home.
Movies depict the platinum gifted “wild child” who no one understands, who goes against the grain, who butts heads with mom and dad at every turn, and who ends up storming away from home on a mission to prove they have what it takes to make it on their own.
Hollywood depicts the first part of the character’s venture away from home as glitz and glamour. (Naivety always sees stars at first). They have found their lane and they are running in it full speed ahead. “I’m free at last, free at last.”
Of course, it’s not long before our new one-hit wonder collides with “the real world,” as the movie depicts. Lies, deceit, and everything dark and destructive suddenly come lurking from every corner. Soon the “dream demons” ravage our young star at every turn, leaving her or him strung out and desperate to find their way back home.
“Away” could also imply being off course. But the more I live the more I come to understand that “away” doesn’t necessarily mean “away” as in off course, or on the wrong path, but rather, “a way.” “Away,” is sometimes simply “a way.” Away is not always a path that leads away from home, but a way that leads one to home.
Not everyone takes the same path in life. For some their path is as straight as an arrow. For others their path consists of multiple twists and turns. And yet for others, they can’t begin to tell you how they got where they are at; it’s like they just woke up one day and here they were.
There is a lot of negativity and judgment associated with being “away” from home and having to somehow find your way back again. It seems like there is some unspoken rule that states where you started is where you should have stayed.
Going “away” implies that you’ve left what was best for you, or what you know. Leaving implies you have gone against the grain, sowed your wild oats. But going “away” doesn’t imply you are moving away from anything, it can mean you are moving toward something.
Even if where you arrive is where you started, you never moved away from it, you simply found a way to it.
Much of where we start in life, “home,” isn’t ready for who we are. And much of who we are in life isn’t ready for where we are. Sometimes who we are and where we are have to “go our separate ways” before we are finally prepared for one another.
If you find your self away from home, know that home is a just decision away. Now, it will be the hardest easiest decision you will ever make. The easy part is making the decision it’s time to turn around. The hard part is following through on the decision you make.
When you set out away from home to prove something, making a decision to return home, when you’ve less than proved your point, can be a very difficult thing. It’s hard on the ego to admit things didn’t turn out like you thought they would.
Of course, then pride gets in the way, and because you are so stinking stubborn, and the people at “home” are even more stubborn, you wrestle for a long time with letting go. You have to fight your pride to simply admit, and accept, that you made a mistake. Who knows, you may even have to admit that someone else, someone who really did love you in the first place, knew a bit more than what you thought they did.
But did you really make a mistake? I’m not sure.
The more I live, the more I see we are led down these paths in life. Each path has a purpose. One way to find out which way you should go, is to discover which way you shouldn’t go. One way to find out how to do something “right” is to do them “wrong.”
So is there such thing as a “wrong” when all action leads to who you are supposed to be, and delivers you to where you are supposed to be?
Now, please don’t misunderstand, I’m not advocating that wherever someone finds themselves in life is where they are “supposed” to be. Too many people give up. Too many people settle. For some, change is just too difficult. Some would rather die in their misery than fix it.
As a hospice chaplain I’ve seen countless take their pride to their grave. They held tight to their grievances, disappointments and offenses, right up until the moment they died. And you can see them struggle with it all the way to their last breath.
Is anything worth that much?
Is pride so valuable that you are willing to risk losing out on the life you were meant to have because you can’t find it with in you to admit you were wrong, or to ask someone for forgiveness?
Someone is reading this right now and you are just ITCHING to go back home but PRIDE is holding you PRISONER. You know you have lived life ‘out of bounds.’ You know you have gone against the grain, and you have know for a long time that you needed to simply pack up and go back home.
You know you are going to have to eat some crow. You know it’s not going to be easy – you’ve already contemplated all the steps, – but you also know in your heart of hearts that it is what you need to do.
I have a question for you. What are you waiting for?
First, you will have to wait until you get to the place where you recognize you are away from home in the first place. (But you already know that.)
Then you will have to find the courage to do something about it. (And you’ve done that on several occasions, but you’ve allowed pride, and “what if,” and all of the head games and emotions keep you from following the good sound advice that you hear deep within you soul.)
If you do find yourself “away” from home, and this whole process is still new to you. If you are still star struck and feeling like you’ve finally found a-way to fulfill your dreams; you have! Keep walking it out. Rest assured your path is leading some where.
On the other hand, if you find that you have been “away” from home for way too long, and you have already experienced where the path you thought you needed to take took you – don’t beat yourself up. You haven’t walked “away,” you have just walked “a way.”
Reach deep within your soul. Make the decision. Give yourself permission to turn around and make your way “home.” After all, home is where we all want to be.
Keep walking. Keep searching, you’re almost home.